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This weekend I am getting a chance to play "stay at home dad". This could be one of the hardest things that I have ever done. In our marriage, I have always been the one who went to work and left Julie, at home, to take care of the kids. Well, this weekend she has "R-U-N-D-O-F-T" to a well deserved mother's retreat. I am so happy that she is getting a chance to get some time off. Julie will come back recharged and reinvigorated ready to take life by the horns. Me, on the other hand, I am way beyond my depth. Sure, I have watched the kids before, I have even taken them places all on my own. Heck, I even bring them all back (really a small miracle). On the other hand, I have never been left alone with them for this long (and boy is it getting long LOL).
Let me just tell you how things are going. It has constantly rained the whole weekend. I mean, come on, I know there is a hurricane and all but, gee, could you give a brother a break. The kids need to get out and exercise and I need some quiet. They can only speak on two levels-so quiet that you can not hear them or at a ear piercing level that you can't ignore. Where are my ear plugs again? For those of you who may not know, we have 7 children. That's right-seven, I am greatly out numbered (send help!!!!!). Thank you Netflix for your vast selection of movies. Unfortunately, the kids only want to watch five different movies and you only play two of them at once on separate tv’s. The Pirate Fairy is good and all but, after twenty times, it gets a little old.
What is that you say, surely I can wrangle this crowd of wild beasts at feeding time. Well, let me just tell you how feeding time goes. I prepare a loving meal. Of course half of the kids will not touch it, which is good, because the other half act as though they have never eaten (watch your fingers). It is madness. I have seen wild animals act better than this. One of the benefits of having so many kids is they can clear the table like nothing I have ever seen. They can be civil right before we eat ,you know while we are waiting for Grace to be said, but once we say Amen, it is a free for all. It is nice to see the food that you have cooked being swallowed whole, really makes the effort seem worth it.
The cherry on top of this wonderful Dad time is Sutton, my youngest son, has decided that it would be a great time to get the stomach bug. Oh My Word!!!!!! The bathroom is a war zone. It is not safe to go in there unless you have someone posted at the door. He has been quite the little trooper about it though-not complaining more than once ever minute. I mean come on the four hotdogs you had for lunch and the six pieces of pizza you had for supper could not possibly have anything to do with your current stomach problems. Send in the Green Berets, this Dad is getting overwhelmed.
Now, there has been some good old fashioned family bonding going down as well. Oh, you two want to fight constantly, fine, go hug each other for the next hour. See how much you love each other now. I have seen two working in perfect unity, only to find out they where working together only to take out another one. I have seen a new side of my kids. They can be well organized when they want, and what they can do together is scary. It is only day two of my four day sentence but I am not sure I am going to make it. I think they smell the fear.
Ok all joking aside this is quite an adventure I have found myself in. I had thought we would go fishing, go on some walks, maybe go to the mall, and if they were extra good go to the movies-you know what they say about the plans of men. It is amazing how different they act on the second day Mom has been gone. I can not help but love my little band of heathens. They are sweet and loving bunch (when they want something).
I hope you have enjoyed the pains of learning to be a "stay at home dad" the learning curve is steep. Remember as always Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.
AK
This is mostly written for humorous purpose but if you don't hear from me by Tuesday send in help!!!!!!!!!!!
