Thank You!!!!!

Wow! Again you guys have blown me away. Feed The Fire was a huge success! I am blown away at how everyone seems to go above and beyond. All day I kept hearing how much fun everyone was having, and to be honest that is what Weston was all about. 

I saw an elf on the self, oh how Weston would have loved that. I saw lots of kiddos playing on fire trucks, Weston was always a big fan of that. The best thing I saw was people with smiles on their faces. Everyone I saw had a smile not one person looked sad, it was great.

We are still getting a finial count, but looks like we will be over 200 places feed. That is close to double last year. Feed The Fire could not be this great without the help of you guys. Several restaurants also got involved, again blown away. We are going to try and do something to thank the places that gave. If you go to one of these places, please tell them thank you for Feeding the Fire.

Looking to next year, what would you like to see different? How can we make it better? How can we get more people involved? Please comment below and let me know what you think.

From the Keeton family, THANK YOU!! You guys are amazing! You guys have always been there. So one more time from the bottom of my humbled heart, Thank You!!! You have really made Feed The Fire something special and we could not do it without you.

AK

Feed The Fire, A Little Thank You

Two years ago today was the hardest day of my life. My heart was broken that day. Weston died on that day. Every since I have had many mixed emotions. Anger has been one feeling. I am not angry at anyone just angry that such a young life was cut short. I also feel sad and morn the loss of a son who will never grow up. I also have feelings of acceptance. I accept that he is healed now and no longer suffering. It is never going to be easy, but......

Now two years later I have some hope. Hope that we have turned something so sad into a way to give back. I am always amazed at the heart of people. I read in the paper and see on the news how the world is just a wreck. People asking "Where are all the good people?" To me on days like today you get to find some of them, they will be the ones giving back to their heroes. They will also be the ones getting feed today. The Firemen, EMS, and Police all put their lives on the line to help others everyday. Today is just one day to say thank you.

So from the bottom of my broken heart THANK YOU. Thank you to all the ones doing the feeding and to all the ones being feed. Thank you for your time and effort. Thank you for making today a little easier. Thank you for help me honor Weston. 

As always Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.

AK

March Is Hard

Facebook has this cool thing where it will pull up old posts or pictures. It is called Time hop I do not have it but Julie does. Most of the time it is great to see old things she has posted, pictures from the past. In eleven of the twelve months it is great. March on the other hand is a hard month. You see Weston died on the 23rd of March 2014. It is a bitter sweet month so many memories are good but it is the month we lost our son.

Time hop has brought up many thing most Julie keeps to herself, but the ones she shares take my breath away. I love seeing pictures of Weston, but many pictures bring me back to the days in the hospital. After transplant we had such high hopes, by March things where not looking so good. The doctors had prepared us for this but if was not easy.

Weston's death is still hard to think about. I tear up when I think about losing one of my own. A parent is not meant to out live their kids. I do not know how other people deal with it, but for me I struggle everyday. It is the little things. When I look at Weston's older brother and know his best friend is gone. Look at Weston's little brother is not much easier they look so much alike. The girls miss him too. Our youngest baby never knew Weston here on earth but I can see his personality in her each day.

How does one truly recover from such a loss with all of these reminders. I take it a little at a time. Just make it though the week, day, or on real bad day just though the moment. I would say I am doing the best I can. I get up everyday determined to make it through. The family is getting along. The kids have kept growing, despite Julie strong objections otherwise. 

Julie has been busy with different heart groups. We just attended the CHF Gala in Philadelphia. Julie and I had a great time, we even snuck in a night alone (not an easy thing to do with seven curtain climber running around). I have been busy going back to school and with work. We both are member of the Philly heart moms (Julie) or Philly heart dads (Me) Facebook groups. The second annual Feed The Fire is about to kick off on March 23rd. If you would like to help out visit the Facebook page and sign up. 

March will always be a month full of memories. Some will be joyful, some will be sad. I know for myself I will look in the mirror in the morning and say "You got this". Life for me has not gone the way I thought it would, but I will just keep moving on. I would like to extend a special thank you to all who read and comment on this, it helps me knowing that people care. In case you have forgotten Hang on, Hang in, Don't quit

SECOND ANNUAL FEED THE FIRE

What Is Feed The Fire

Weston’s helmet at funeral service. March 2014

Feed the Fire was started in 2014 in the memory of Weston Keeton. 2014

Weston was a 7 year old boy, from TN, who was diagnosed with  congenital heart defect at 9 days old. Later he also suffered Pulmonary Hypertension. The last three years of his life was mostly spent in Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Weston was full of life and loved firemen, police, and service members. The local 22 firemen association adopted Weston and his family. Upon his death Weston was honored with a fireman’s funeral. It is our hope that you will help “Feed the Fire” by giving back to your local hero, whether they are firemen, police, EMS, service members, anyone who is your hero. We will be doing this on March 23 2015. Hope to see you there.

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

― Desmond Tutu 

How We Did Last Year.

The first annual “Feed the Fire” was a fantastic success. I was blown away by the out pouring of support. People from around the world got together to show their support of their local fire departments. Over 100 fire stations were fed. Lots of smiles and the story of one little boy and his love of helping people was told.

The Keeton family taking breakfast to Kingsport Fire Department. March 23 2015

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.”

― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Hopes For This Year!!

This Year I would love to feed twice the number we had last year. I know we can do it. I would love to see more pictures. I would love to see people take this on as project, form teams. We are so grateful for anything you can do to help. Stay tuned for more info at our Facebook page. . Losing Weston is hard but by helping to give back to the people who reached out makes it a little easier. I am, as always in awe of the support we received and thankful for what you do.



AK 

Time With The Kids

This weekend I am getting a chance to play "stay at home dad".  This could be one of the hardest things that I have ever done. In our marriage, I have always been the one who went to work and left Julie, at home, to take care of the kids. Well, this weekend she has "R-U-N-D-O-F-T" to a well deserved mother's retreat. I am so happy that she is getting a chance to get some time off. Julie will come back recharged and reinvigorated ready to take life by the horns. Me, on the other hand, I am way beyond my depth. Sure, I have watched the kids before, I have even taken them places all on my own.  Heck, I even bring them all back (really a small miracle). On the other hand, I have never been left alone with them for this long (and boy is it getting long LOL).

Let me just tell you how things are going. It has constantly rained the whole weekend. I mean, come on, I know there is a hurricane and all but, gee, could you give a brother a break. The kids need to get out and exercise and I need some quiet.  They can only speak on two levels-so quiet that you can not hear them or at a ear piercing level that you can't ignore. Where are my ear plugs again? For those of you who may not know, we have 7 children.  That's right-seven, I am greatly out numbered (send help!!!!!). Thank you Netflix for your vast selection of movies.  Unfortunately, the kids only want to watch five different movies and you only play two of them at once on separate tv’s. The Pirate Fairy is good and all but, after twenty times, it gets a little old. 

What is that you say, surely I can wrangle this crowd of wild beasts at feeding time. Well, let me just tell you how feeding time goes.  I prepare a loving meal. Of course half of the kids will not touch it, which is good, because the other half act as though they have never eaten (watch your fingers). It is madness.  I have seen wild animals act better than this. One of the benefits of having so many kids is they can clear the table like nothing I have ever seen. They can be civil right before we eat ,you know while we are waiting for Grace to be said, but once we say Amen, it is a free for all. It is nice to see the food that you have cooked being swallowed whole, really makes the effort seem worth it.

The cherry on top of this wonderful Dad time is Sutton, my youngest son, has decided that it would be a great time to get the stomach bug. Oh My Word!!!!!! The bathroom is a war zone.  It is not safe to go in there unless you have someone posted at the door. He has been quite the little trooper about it though-not complaining more than once ever minute. I mean come on the four hotdogs you had for lunch and the six pieces of pizza you had for supper could not possibly have anything to do with your current stomach problems. Send in the Green Berets, this Dad is getting overwhelmed.

Now, there has been some good old fashioned family bonding going down as well. Oh, you two want to fight constantly, fine, go hug each other for the next hour. See how much you love each other now. I have seen two working in perfect unity, only to find out they where working together only to take out another one. I have seen a new side of my kids. They can be well organized when they want, and what they can do together is scary. It is only day two of my four day sentence but I am not sure I am going to make it. I think they smell the fear.

Ok all joking aside this is quite an adventure I have found myself in. I had thought we would go fishing, go on some walks, maybe go to the mall, and if they were extra good go to the movies-you know what they say about the plans of men.  It is amazing how different they act on the second day Mom has been gone. I can not help but love my little band of heathens.  They are sweet and loving bunch (when they want something). 

I hope you have enjoyed the pains of learning to be a "stay at home dad" the learning curve is steep. Remember as always Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.

AK

This is mostly written for humorous purpose but if you don't hear from me by Tuesday send in help!!!!!!!!!!!

A Case of the I Don't Cares.

Have you ever had a bad day? How about a day where you just felt down? I have, and continue to have them lately. These days are always hard, seems as though the day will never end. I have a hard time finding my motivation. It is never easy to get rolling when you just don't seem to care what happens.

Most of the time it is the rainy days, or the winter days where I can not get outside. Lately, it has been most any day. I have been struggling to shake them. It is like being in a fog and just not caring. Do not misunderstand, I seem just fine on the outside, most people would never notice. It is almost like I can not get enough sleep. I am physically tired, my body will hurt where it normally does not. It is funny how easy it is to come up with excuses of why I do not want to do something. I am to tired, I need to do something on the Internet, or many other of the easy excuses we all use. 

So, what do you do to kick the I Don't Cares out of your life? Well, for me going for a walk outside always has been a way for me to clear my head. It is good for my soul to be outside, I do not think humans are meant to be trapped inside all the time. Another thing for me is to start and finish a project. It is always good to finish a project, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I try to find a little project one I think I can get a quick victory and remind myself things are going to be OK. If I just can't seem to shake the I Don't Cares, then I can always spend time playing with the kids. No matter how bad I have the I Don't Cares the kids are always an instant cure. 

So what do you do when you have the I Don't Cares? Do you go for a walk? Do you call a friend? Let me know in the comments below. I find as we move into the fall to be followed by winter, it is best to remember we all get the I Don't Cares and you are not alone. If nothing else seems to work just make it to the next day with the hope of a new day and new feelings. To me the most important thing is to Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.

AK

My Son Is Dying And I Have To Go Back To Work.

Now What?

Having a child in the hospital sucks. That is the best word for it. It does not matter if it is for something not life threatening or if they are critically ill.  It just sucks. 

It is an emotional roller coaster that can take you from feeling great to the worst day of your life. It is loud, there are bright lights everywhere, and a cold and unwelcoming environment. The hospital is not meant to be a place to live. People go there to get help and that is what hospital's do very well. They help the ones they can.

Julie and I had no idea that when we left home that we would not return for three years and would not be bringing our son back. We first made the trip because Weston was having episodes, and no one in the country could tell us what they where. So, we left our home in Tennessee to search out answers at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

Weston was in the hospital about 8 months when the company I worked for said I needed to come back to work. This was not all bad. I was getting restless, feeling useless waiting for something to work so we could take Weston home and be a family again. Also, like most families we needed the money. It is hard to live away from home with no income and pay the bills, our savings where dangerously low.

With great sorrow and the knowledge this is what needs to be done, I leave my family, including newborn daughter, behind and start back to Tennessee to work. I imagine this must have been what it was like for the men in during the great depression that had to leave their families to go find work. It is a lonely thing to be at home and your heart is 500 miles away.

One of the things Julie and I did ,that helped ease the distance between us, was we would communicate (usually texting) at least once a day.  She would give me updates and I would tell her how much I missed her. (She is my best friend after all) I would work as much as a I could to help keep my mind off of the separation. It was easier to work than to sit in an empty house, while my mind wondered if I was doing the right thing.

The days would go fast while I was at work, but the time off of work would crawl as I had time to worry. We thought about me trying to transfer to another plant site closer to Philadelphia, but we did not want to leave our home. We always wanted to have a place to come back to. Looking back, I think we made the right choice.

At first we tried to Skype but that proved to be hard for me and the kids. It was amazing though how during some of my darkest days someone, usually someone kinda random, would say something to me to help brighten my day. Those people will probably never know how their kind words helped me through my most troubled days. I would just like to thank any and everyone who ever said or thought nice things to me or my family.

It was a time of content stress, I never knew when Julie would call and say "I need you now Weston is......." I would have to drop whatever I was doing (day or night or even right after just getting home from Philadelphia) and drive to Philadelphia. Weston could go from "we don't think he is going to make it" to sitting up in bed eating flaming hot Cheetos in the time it would take me to drive the 10 hours to Philadelphia. I would get to see my family and recharge my batteries but would always need to "turn and burn" so I could get back to work to provide for the family.

Being the only one bring in money is a huge burden to carry. I did not always carry it well. I would lash out at Julie in my frustrations of trying to balance making money and being there for my family. Some nights, I would cry myself to sleep, no one knew this but me. I was hurting, I needed them they gave me strength and the distance seemed to great. The next day, I would put on my big boy pants and  face the new day. 

Luckily for me I worked around a bunch of people who understood what I was going through. They would ask how I was doing and I would always answer "I am fine" and they understood. (Here is my earlier Blog about how fine I really was.) They would listen on the rare days I would talk about what I was going through and they would pretend not to notice if a tear came down my cheek. They where a great group and helped me as much as I would allow them to. 

If you are making the choice to go back to work or stay at the hospital and risk financial ruin, I understand. This is not a choice to be made lightly. Julie and I struggled with this choice not just the first time but throughout Weston's stay in Philadelphia. We made the right choice for our family at the time. I am comforted in the thought that I did the best I could and Julie and I always tried to support each other as best we could. Being away from your family is hard, but sometime we have to wear our big boy pants and do what is best for the whole family in the long run.

If you are every faced with a decision about your family remember. It is your family. It is your life. Only you can make the right choice for your family. Do the best you can to make your choice and don't be afraid to change it if you have to. As always Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.

AK