March Is Hard

Facebook has this cool thing where it will pull up old posts or pictures. It is called Time hop I do not have it but Julie does. Most of the time it is great to see old things she has posted, pictures from the past. In eleven of the twelve months it is great. March on the other hand is a hard month. You see Weston died on the 23rd of March 2014. It is a bitter sweet month so many memories are good but it is the month we lost our son.

Time hop has brought up many thing most Julie keeps to herself, but the ones she shares take my breath away. I love seeing pictures of Weston, but many pictures bring me back to the days in the hospital. After transplant we had such high hopes, by March things where not looking so good. The doctors had prepared us for this but if was not easy.

Weston's death is still hard to think about. I tear up when I think about losing one of my own. A parent is not meant to out live their kids. I do not know how other people deal with it, but for me I struggle everyday. It is the little things. When I look at Weston's older brother and know his best friend is gone. Look at Weston's little brother is not much easier they look so much alike. The girls miss him too. Our youngest baby never knew Weston here on earth but I can see his personality in her each day.

How does one truly recover from such a loss with all of these reminders. I take it a little at a time. Just make it though the week, day, or on real bad day just though the moment. I would say I am doing the best I can. I get up everyday determined to make it through. The family is getting along. The kids have kept growing, despite Julie strong objections otherwise. 

Julie has been busy with different heart groups. We just attended the CHF Gala in Philadelphia. Julie and I had a great time, we even snuck in a night alone (not an easy thing to do with seven curtain climber running around). I have been busy going back to school and with work. We both are member of the Philly heart moms (Julie) or Philly heart dads (Me) Facebook groups. The second annual Feed The Fire is about to kick off on March 23rd. If you would like to help out visit the Facebook page and sign up. 

March will always be a month full of memories. Some will be joyful, some will be sad. I know for myself I will look in the mirror in the morning and say "You got this". Life for me has not gone the way I thought it would, but I will just keep moving on. I would like to extend a special thank you to all who read and comment on this, it helps me knowing that people care. In case you have forgotten Hang on, Hang in, Don't quit