Words Of Wisdom

Have you ever been talking to someone and then BAM! they lay out something big. I am not talking about normal big, I mean life changing big. I can thing of at least two times in my life. It was a paradigm shift for me both times. As a matter of fact it is one of those things that stick with you. Gently nudging you in the back recesses of your mind. Ever so slightly you start to see the whole picture, because at the time you are to wrapped up in life to notice what was just said to you.

Now on to the good stuff, the first time was during one of our trips to Johnson City Medical Center for Weston. Julie and I where taking in what the Doctors had just told us. If I remember correctly the Doctors wanted to do something new to Weston and we where unsure of what to do. The Doctors had left us to make up our minds on what to do. Now my whole life up until this point had been to always trust that the Doctor knew best. This time we where unsure and not wanting to do what the Doctors wanted to do. Then like a wise old monk, our nurse came to us with the best advice ever. (at least for where we where at the time) She said "You know you can say No to the Doctor". I was blown away. I had always done whatever the Doctor wanted to do. This has lead to many a Doctor's discomfort, as Julie and I have advocated for our kids.

The other day wisdom was bestowed upon me again. I was making a comment about how "I hate that I do not like something but I do not like it". Out of the blue, my friend, like the Dahlia Lama, himself, looked over at me and says "You do know, it is OK, not to like something". This may not sound like much but I had never considered that it was Ok not to like something that everyone else liked. I have always tried to "be nice" and apologize for not liking something. The thing is, this has been a life long problem for me. As I thought of this little nugget of wisdom, I keep coming back to "man he is right". How many times have I apologized for having my own opinion or not liking something that others like. You know what, it is OK, not to like something (unless it is Julie's cooking, then thats a whole other can of worms) and have my own opinions.

My challenge for myself and you if you choose, is to take these two pieces of gold and run with them. I am going to continue to tell Doctors no when I believe they are wrong. I am going to stop apologizing for my opinions and know that it is Ok not to like stuff everyone else likes. If you have some pearls of wisdom to pass my way please comment below. Remember Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.



AK

Somethings Never Change

The more things change in my life, the more I see them the same. I am often faced with the similar challenges, whether it is having to make hard choices or learning to have more patience. Life always seems to challenge you in ways that make you grow or just makes you mad. 

Most people will never go through having to deal with the death of a child, who was in the hospital as much as or more, than he was at home. This experience has changed me, for the better I would say. I have seen now that, family is what matters. I often have to remind myself that it is OK to just enjoy your family. 

It would have been easy for me to turn to work to deal with my loss. I could just work and spend little time at home. This would have helped my career and been a much easier path, but I would have missed out on a lot of good times. My family is what I want now more than anything. I just want to be with them. It is not always fun times, but everyday I am reminded this is right where I belong.

Today on Facebook I saw a quote that I just loved. "Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision" (unknown) Wow, powerful right, one thing we learned early in Weston's life was that making decision, no matter how hard, was an important thing to do. When dealing with a child that is sick you have to choose, no one else can, sure doctor can help but you must choose.

The other day our youngest (18 months) started drawing on the walls. Everyone else had just stopped drawing on the wall. This artwork on the walls used to make me mad, I would have to clean it and if it was bad enough I would have to paint the walls again. This time was different, I just could not seem to get that worked up about it. As a matter of fact I almost thought it was funny. It seems only fitting that our last would follow in the footsteps of the rest of the kids and give us great pieces of art. 

Work was such a focus of mine for years. All I could think of was to work, to make money for me and the family. My first year at one job I worked over 600 hours of overtime. That was from April-December, when did I have time for the family. That is over 25% of an average year, most people work around 2000 hours a year. I missed out on quite a bit that year, in the kids lives. Last year I had less than 150 hour of overtime, and most of that was not by choice. Can you see the change.

My goal now is to be a better person everyday. Everyday I work on it, some days are better than others. I still get angry when I should not, I still have to be careful when overtime is available. It is so easy to fall back into our old ways, but I challenge you to take the road less traveled. Do not go quietly into that night. Make bold choices and be patience with the ones you love. Also Hang on, Hang in, Don't quit.

AK

Had A Good Day

I feel some days that I have been kick, spit on, knocked down, and sat upon, but not today. Why heck I do not know. I guess some days are just easier than others. I find myself often wondering will this get any better. Well, today it is. I would say this is a very big step. I have always tried to be up bet and see the bright side of things, but some days are just not that easy.

What are your keys to staying calm? I like to eat. (If you have seen me lately you can see I have done this a lot) I also like to watch some TV. (I also have done to much of this) When I really need to charge up I find it best to just be alone and think. Sometimes this mean taking a drive, other times maybe a hike. One time I woke very early and watched the sunrise on a local mountain. That was wonderful for my soul.

This will be the last post I put on Facebook or Twitter. From now on I will be just posting on here, I will not push this blog. If you would like to share it feel free. Also if you would like me to put you on an email list to get notices in your email, I will figure out how to do that. Please comment below and let me know what you want to hear about. As always Hang on, Hang in, Don't quit.

AK

Thank You!!!!!

Wow! Again you guys have blown me away. Feed The Fire was a huge success! I am blown away at how everyone seems to go above and beyond. All day I kept hearing how much fun everyone was having, and to be honest that is what Weston was all about. 

I saw an elf on the self, oh how Weston would have loved that. I saw lots of kiddos playing on fire trucks, Weston was always a big fan of that. The best thing I saw was people with smiles on their faces. Everyone I saw had a smile not one person looked sad, it was great.

We are still getting a finial count, but looks like we will be over 200 places feed. That is close to double last year. Feed The Fire could not be this great without the help of you guys. Several restaurants also got involved, again blown away. We are going to try and do something to thank the places that gave. If you go to one of these places, please tell them thank you for Feeding the Fire.

Looking to next year, what would you like to see different? How can we make it better? How can we get more people involved? Please comment below and let me know what you think.

From the Keeton family, THANK YOU!! You guys are amazing! You guys have always been there. So one more time from the bottom of my humbled heart, Thank You!!! You have really made Feed The Fire something special and we could not do it without you.

AK

Feed The Fire, A Little Thank You

Two years ago today was the hardest day of my life. My heart was broken that day. Weston died on that day. Every since I have had many mixed emotions. Anger has been one feeling. I am not angry at anyone just angry that such a young life was cut short. I also feel sad and morn the loss of a son who will never grow up. I also have feelings of acceptance. I accept that he is healed now and no longer suffering. It is never going to be easy, but......

Now two years later I have some hope. Hope that we have turned something so sad into a way to give back. I am always amazed at the heart of people. I read in the paper and see on the news how the world is just a wreck. People asking "Where are all the good people?" To me on days like today you get to find some of them, they will be the ones giving back to their heroes. They will also be the ones getting feed today. The Firemen, EMS, and Police all put their lives on the line to help others everyday. Today is just one day to say thank you.

So from the bottom of my broken heart THANK YOU. Thank you to all the ones doing the feeding and to all the ones being feed. Thank you for your time and effort. Thank you for making today a little easier. Thank you for help me honor Weston. 

As always Hang on, Hang in, and Don't quit.

AK

March Is Hard

Facebook has this cool thing where it will pull up old posts or pictures. It is called Time hop I do not have it but Julie does. Most of the time it is great to see old things she has posted, pictures from the past. In eleven of the twelve months it is great. March on the other hand is a hard month. You see Weston died on the 23rd of March 2014. It is a bitter sweet month so many memories are good but it is the month we lost our son.

Time hop has brought up many thing most Julie keeps to herself, but the ones she shares take my breath away. I love seeing pictures of Weston, but many pictures bring me back to the days in the hospital. After transplant we had such high hopes, by March things where not looking so good. The doctors had prepared us for this but if was not easy.

Weston's death is still hard to think about. I tear up when I think about losing one of my own. A parent is not meant to out live their kids. I do not know how other people deal with it, but for me I struggle everyday. It is the little things. When I look at Weston's older brother and know his best friend is gone. Look at Weston's little brother is not much easier they look so much alike. The girls miss him too. Our youngest baby never knew Weston here on earth but I can see his personality in her each day.

How does one truly recover from such a loss with all of these reminders. I take it a little at a time. Just make it though the week, day, or on real bad day just though the moment. I would say I am doing the best I can. I get up everyday determined to make it through. The family is getting along. The kids have kept growing, despite Julie strong objections otherwise. 

Julie has been busy with different heart groups. We just attended the CHF Gala in Philadelphia. Julie and I had a great time, we even snuck in a night alone (not an easy thing to do with seven curtain climber running around). I have been busy going back to school and with work. We both are member of the Philly heart moms (Julie) or Philly heart dads (Me) Facebook groups. The second annual Feed The Fire is about to kick off on March 23rd. If you would like to help out visit the Facebook page and sign up. 

March will always be a month full of memories. Some will be joyful, some will be sad. I know for myself I will look in the mirror in the morning and say "You got this". Life for me has not gone the way I thought it would, but I will just keep moving on. I would like to extend a special thank you to all who read and comment on this, it helps me knowing that people care. In case you have forgotten Hang on, Hang in, Don't quit

SECOND ANNUAL FEED THE FIRE

What Is Feed The Fire

Weston’s helmet at funeral service. March 2014

Feed the Fire was started in 2014 in the memory of Weston Keeton. 2014

Weston was a 7 year old boy, from TN, who was diagnosed with  congenital heart defect at 9 days old. Later he also suffered Pulmonary Hypertension. The last three years of his life was mostly spent in Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Weston was full of life and loved firemen, police, and service members. The local 22 firemen association adopted Weston and his family. Upon his death Weston was honored with a fireman’s funeral. It is our hope that you will help “Feed the Fire” by giving back to your local hero, whether they are firemen, police, EMS, service members, anyone who is your hero. We will be doing this on March 23 2015. Hope to see you there.

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

― Desmond Tutu 

How We Did Last Year.

The first annual “Feed the Fire” was a fantastic success. I was blown away by the out pouring of support. People from around the world got together to show their support of their local fire departments. Over 100 fire stations were fed. Lots of smiles and the story of one little boy and his love of helping people was told.

The Keeton family taking breakfast to Kingsport Fire Department. March 23 2015

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.”

― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Hopes For This Year!!

This Year I would love to feed twice the number we had last year. I know we can do it. I would love to see more pictures. I would love to see people take this on as project, form teams. We are so grateful for anything you can do to help. Stay tuned for more info at our Facebook page. . Losing Weston is hard but by helping to give back to the people who reached out makes it a little easier. I am, as always in awe of the support we received and thankful for what you do.



AK